WHAT'S THAT NOISE. NO. STOP IT.

What starts off as a promising mashup (albeit an overdone idea by the YouTube community) of Deadmau5’s electro house anthem “Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff” and The Beastie Boys’ hip-hop favourite “Intergalactic” is scuppered by a few stand-out flaws in its production.

The premature acapella intro. 

The unexpected loss of the second chorus after it begins to play.

But worst of all?  Anomaly’s horrifying attempt at vinyl scratching the vocals.

The credibility of the whole track is dropped at roughly the same time as Anomaly drops the beat out of sync at 2:02, and then proceeds to brutally rend the BB’s vocals.  As I stare at my screen, utterly dumbfounded at why this is happening, I open up the author comments box inside the video and read the following:

“Anomaly’s first track (Yes I realize that some parts are weird.  Deal with it.)”

What is this, a bloody endurance trial?  How can you expect for people to want to put up with anything they’re listening to?  They’d skip it if they heard it on an iPod, bomb it with zero’s on Metacritic (as is generally their whiny, angst filled way), and bury you in a heap of plastic bottles and other detritus if you ever tried to play it live!

"Set Me On Fire"? Gladly.

Here we have what remains of Pendulum’s venture into dubstep, “Set Me On Fire”.  Subjected to numerous jarring, ill-fitting cuts, and warped by bass overkill, this maltreatment seems to have invoked an irreversible stammer in the song’s vocalist, barely able to sing her lead into the song without stuttering like Porky Pig.  The random reverse effects and inconsistent pitch add to the cringeworthiness of this remix, amounting to something so awful that it even fails as a piss-take.

I imagine it like the scrambled black box recordings of a downed jet fighter.  Although, not the actual sounds of the jet fighter itself, but the tune that triggered the pilot’s aneurysm in flight.

Part Human, part Reptile, all Monster! (It's also crap too.)

All humans are born equal. But, as inversely proven by today’s mashup monstrosity, some humans are more equal than others.

And here it is:

DJ StjärtiZ mashes (in the rawest sense of the word) “Human” by The Killers with Skrillex's “Reptile”, "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga and "Optical Vibes" by Astrix.  It’s the musical equivalent of a TV trope known as "Cool Versus Awesome": a clusterfuck of everything deemed cool/awesome that is ruthlessly pelted across the wall in the hope that the ensuing insanity proves enjoyable.  The opening line sets the tone for the rest of the mix; “I did my best to notice, when the call came down the BASSline”, awkward, like when your auntie inappropriately pinches you on the bum.

And as if it wasn’t “awesomecool” enough already, StjärtiZ unwittingly plays into this trope by directing aliens to invade the track at 3:47.

The standardised explanation of Cool Versus Awesome is that “Pirates are cool; so are ninjas. So pirates fighting ninjas must be frickin' awesome! And why not make them all beat up some robots while we're at it? Oh and don't forget the zombies!”  Pertaining to the same formula, it’s very easy to replace X with Y; pirates with dubstep, ninjas with aliens, and garbage with balls.

Altogether it’s so crazily bad, that you can’t help but chuckle.